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Milton Berle

1.  Laughter is an instant vacation. - Milton Berle 

2. If Opportunity Doesn't Knock, Build A Door. – Milton Berle

3. My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. – Milton Berle

4. If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? – Milton Berle 

5. “When I was in school, one of my teachers was crazy about me. I once heard her tell another teacher, "I wish he was my kid for one day!"

6. He was such a bad writer, they revoked his poetic license. ~Milton Berle 

7. "The problem with life is, by the time you can read the opposite sex like a book, your library card has expired."  —  Milton Berle

8. The cure for love at first sight is another look. 

9. "Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?" —  Milton Berle 

10. Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient - Milton Berle 

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