1. Laughter is an instant vacation. - Milton Berle
2. If Opportunity Doesn't Knock, Build A Door. – Milton Berle
3. My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. – Milton Berle
4. If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? – Milton Berle
5. “When I was in school, one of my teachers was crazy about me. I once heard her tell another teacher, "I wish he was my kid for one day!"
6. He was such a bad writer, they revoked his poetic license. ~Milton Berle
7. "The problem with life is, by the time you can read the opposite sex like a book, your library card has expired." — Milton Berle
8. The cure for love at first sight is another look.
9. "Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?" — Milton Berle
10. Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient - Milton Berle
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